


Letting Go

by tromana



Series: 50 Starting Points [5]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 10:03:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tromana/pseuds/tromana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. He had always known that sooner or later, it would come down to this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Paint It Red Forum Anniversary Countdown. Also a belated birthday gift for klcarr892.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jane, but there are only so many allowances we can make you.”

Jane frowned petulantly at the petite brunette standing opposite him. He had always known that sooner or later, it would come down to this. The CBI had a reputation to uphold and he was threatening to destroy it with every single step that he took. Teresa Lisbon had her hands firmly planted on her hips as she glared him down. This was an expression that he was very much used to seeing on her face, but he suppressed the desire to sigh heavily and carried on gazing benignly at her.

Over the past three months, the Serious Crimes Unit’s closed case record had reached stratospheric heights. Virgil Minelli had been exceptionally proud of Lisbon and her team for that significant improvement. However, said improvement had come at a cost and that cost was him.

He had watched as the mountain of formal complaints had built up on Lisbon’s desk. Jane knew that he was responsible for the vast majority (and if not, all) of them, but he just hadn’t been able to stop himself from causing chaos. It was what he did best; his wife had once nicknamed him ‘The Oncoming Storm’, albeit, with an affectionate tone of voice. Even now, many years after her death, the nickname still suited him down to the ground. Lisbon, however, preferred to refer to him as a ‘pain in the ass’, the ‘thorn in her side’ and – if she pronounced it with the right amount of venom – ‘the consultant’. Besides, the way he closed cases was different to the strait-laced and professional company procedure that the CBI had. There had to be some allowances to be made. And if that was offended the rich father of a spoilt girl or getting a rich billionaire to punch him in the nose, then so be it. What did it matter so long as the case got closed?

However, apparently it did matter. It mattered a lot.

Because Jane was fairly certain that even in such a short space of time, Lisbon had lost count of the number of times she had been forced to apologize on his behalf. What made it all the more galling was the fact that he was never sorry in the first place. But the CBI as a whole had to show they cared because they didn’t want to get embroiled in another lawsuit over something that was easily rectified with two simple words.

But Patrick Jane rarely said the words ‘I’m sorry’. He had been taught to say it only when he truly meant it. Ergo, there was only one thing he was truly sorry for. He couldn’t say those precious words to two of the three people who deserved to hear it the most. They were dead and buried, long gone and it was entirely his fault.

Jane would have done anything if it meant getting his precious wife and daughter back. But it was too late, like so many other things.

The third person who very much deserved to hear those words from him was standing right in front of him. And worse, he wasn’t even bothering to listening to what she had to say. Instead, he had allowed himself to get trapped in his own mind by the demons that haunted him on a day to day basis.

“And I’m very sorry, but we are going to have to let you go,” Lisbon eventually concluded with a hint of sadness in her tone.

“Excuse me?” he queried, though he understood exactly what she had just said.

“We are terminating your contract, Mr. Jane. The CBI simply cannot be held accountable for your actions any longer.”

“Oh.”

“But we – I – would like to thank you for your services over the past three months. I have…” she paused, obviously considering just how to phrase what she was thinking. “…learned a lot. Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” he replied and proffered a hand. Tentatively, she shook it. “And I’m sorry for the trouble I have caused you.”

She nodded at his statement, and seemed to understand the genuine undertones that he had offered in them. Finally, he let out that sigh he had been holding and turned on his heels. First on the agenda was saying farewell to Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt. Then, he had to leave and get on with his life.

And rid himself of the nightmares that haunted him every sleeping and waking moment. The only way he was going to do that was by disposing of the serial killer more commonly known as Red John.

But he would find a way. He had to.

xxx

There was a knock on his apartment door and Jane’s lips curved into a small smile. He’d been waiting for this moment; he’d had everything prepared for hours. Obviously, there had been a delay of some sort, but he knew he’d be able to work out the reasons why shortly. But first, he rushed to the door and opened it.

When he saw Teresa Lisbon standing there, looking as beautiful as ever, he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and pressed his lips firmly against hers. She responded eagerly to the kiss and he could tell that she had been desperate to see him again all afternoon. This afternoon had presented them with a very awkward situation to be in and he had felt guilty about it all day. However, there had been no other option. This was very much for the best – both for them and the CBI.

“Do you think they bought it?” she asked, her tone querulous.

“You played the part beautifully, my dear,” he answered and kissed her again, this time more chastely. “But do you think you can continue to convince your team that I am really long gone?”

“Please,” she replied, with a derisive wave of the hand. “Just because you can tell what I’m thinking by the way I quirk my lips or move a hand, it doesn’t mean that everyone can.”

“You’re still a hopeless liar though.”

“If you say so, Jane.”

“Patrick, dear,” he reminded her gently. “You’re not my boss anymore.”

Nobody could know that they were continuing to see one another now that his contact with the CBI had been terminated. It was especially important that nobody knew that their relationship had developed into something far more than platonic as well. Not only was it for their safety – Red John would absolutely not approve of them seeking comfort in one another’s arms – but it also maintained Lisbon’s sense of professionalism. She would have loathed people judging her based on the fact she had been seduced by her charismatic consultant. Maybe one day it would be safe enough to reveal their relationship to the wider world, but for now, it was better for them to hide it in the shadows.

Hand in hand, he led her through to the kitchen table, which he had laid beautifully for dinner. Candlelight danced around the room, illuminating her soft features and it reminded Jane just why he had always been unable to resist her. When he had joined the CBI, he had been determined not to betray the memory of his wife and fixated on the idea of revenge. He had been pleasantly surprised to discover that he had the capability of letting another woman into his heart and bed.

When it came to Red John, they were still at odds, however. Slowly, she was coming around to the idea of turning a blind eye when it came to the serial killer. Ultimately, that was why he had insisted that she fire him. The CBI couldn’t know what he was doing. He refused to allow himself to drag the honorable institution down with him.

But he couldn’t let go of Teresa Lisbon. She anchored him. She insisted upon supporting him in his quest. And she also still had the belief that she could change his mind when it came to bloody murder.

Maybe she would end up being more successful than he was. Maybe one day he would be able to decide that she was the far better option than a jail cell. She would be able to arrest Red John, have him tried in a court of law and placed on death row due to his crimes.

It would probably come down to who was more stubborn and tenacious between the pair of them.

(Sooner or later, he was going to have to decide which he wanted to say goodbye to: revenge or Teresa Lisbon.

And already, he was beginning to come to the conclusion that she would eventually wear him down. He would end up surrendering Red John to her trustworthy hands. When it came to the choice between life and death, he had to choose life. But even so, the thought of the blood of his wife and daughter’s murderer on his hands still seemed all too tempting…)

“I brought the files,” she said quietly, but he shook his head.

“Later,” he answered back firmly.

Because, for now, he had to show her that he loved every single inch of her. It was his way of thanking her for everything she had done for him in such a short period of time.

It was the very least he could do.


End file.
